Looking Deep Inside Myself,,,,

I've done some redecorating- not my house, but this blog site!  I am still learning about this whole blogging thing, and  I've changed it already about a bazillion times, but now that autumn will be here soon maybe it's time for a REALLY BIG, HUGE change..  I love changing things!  I am the webmaster of our site for our parish and I have changed the theme of it about six times already - just this year!  I am already working on an autumn site, and thought that it would be nice to change this blog as well...  I love decorating and redecorating!  My moods change as often as the wind blows - and so my decorations do as well!  And, I think this chilly weather we've been having is just making me itch to redecorate something!!

Sr. Marian at our visit to the Monastery in Bristow

I had a very interesting and wonderful day today..  I spent the day with a dear, dear friend and spiritual director, Sr. Marian.  She has been a mentor, a friend, and a sister to me (and not just of the 'nun' kind!)  She is older than I am, but a more modern, independent, and wonderful woman you will not find!  She tells it like it is - and she tells it from the heart!  Believe me, she isn't your stereotypical 'nun' - which is why I love her all the more!  We have a mutual dear friend who is a Prioress in Tanzania who recently sent her a box of African Tea - yes, we had an old fashioned Tea Party!!  Complete with cakes and all!  You should have seen us!  I've been to tea before and this was NOT your typical tea!  Anyway, we spoke of spiritual things, of life things, of family things and of things of the heart.  We prayed together, laughed together, and cried together over our recent loss of Sr. Denise.  I asked Sr. Marian to be my spiritual director when the Hubs was chosen to participate in the Diaconate program in our diocese.  As this whole discernment process was taking place, I thought it would be a good idea for me to have a dear and special woman to share my faith with, and to have someone I trust to ask questions, to learn from, and to help me grow along with my Hubs in our spiritual journey together.

One of the many topics we spoke about was my thoughts on weight loss surgery.  I had been feeling many different and sometime conflicting emotions about this whole journey.  I prayed about it and still felt...  I don't want to say "guilty", for that isn't the right word...  but maybe "trepidation" might be more what I was/am feeling..  Anyway, I brought up the subject with Sr. Marian.  I mentioned that there really aren't many people who know about my research and desire for weight loss surgery, and of all the concerns and questions I had.  Well, she asked me a few questions!  She asked what my goals were, what I hoped to achieve, what led me to thinking of this path, and what do I expect to accomplish in this journey, am I open to all the surprises, graces, and crosses that this journey will bring - smart woman....  She helped me to reach deep inside myself to look for the answers to these questions, and many more.  Of course she didn't expect all of my answers on the spot, but just asked me to think about them and to write them down for our next time together.  She reminded me however of one very important thing.  She told me to be completely open to the gifts of God.  This just may be his gift to to me.  An answer to what I have been needing for a long time.  God holds no grudges against us.  When we come to him and ask for help, he is there to supply us with answers - and perhaps this is the answer he has supplied for me..  Trust in him..  just trust....  Very good advice, don't you think?

Anyway, that was my day today!  A terrific day if I say so myself..  A day of friendship, of contemplation, of tea parties (and not political!) and of soul searching!  And on top of that, I got a manicure, too!!  How great is THAT??  Afterwards, me and the Hubs just had a quiet nite - he worked very late tonight - having martinis and watching our favorite show together "The 19th Hole"..  Yeah, I know, it's another golf show - but, these are moments I wouldn't trade for the world!!

Until next time!!