Thank you all so very much for helping me through my dilemma, for your care, your concern and your friendship.. Your responses and emails have touched me more than you can imagine - thank you. You've given me such wonderful advice, and I'm going to take that advice by letting things cool down - for now. But, this is all going to end. I'm not going to lose sleep, I'm not going to guard my words in fear that she's going to go off, I am not going to allow her to ruin my mood - it just ain't goin' ta happen again. Period. My friend Kelly advised me that I need to be the adult in this situation, to speak calmly and clearly, and to not encourage M's anger and outrage by arguing with her. I understand that I can not heal her many and varied troubles. I can not make her see a Doctor, or force her to take her medication. What I can do is love her. It may have to be tough love at times as you've suggested, but it is the love that she desperately needs. When I do speak calmly with her - after I get over this persistant urge to throttle her - I will insist that I am her friend... but... if she wishes to be my friend, she going to have to accept me as I am. She will not dictate to, or coerce me by insisting on what I can and can not do, yell, insult or go off on one of her infamous tangents. I don't deserve that - and I'm not going to take it from her either. (sounds a little 'Twisted Sister', doesn't it? - "We're not gonna take it..." - ouch, bad pun...) If who I am isn't good enough for her - if she can't handle it, I shall always keep her in my prayers, I will never abandon her (my friendship and my door will always be open to her) - but, she'll be on her own until she "gets it".
One thought I've pondered these past few days - which has been brought to light by my friend and Sister - is how I have allowed myself to be manipulated and used. I was a "friend" as long as I went along with her thoughts, feelings and emotions. If I didn't, she'd go off like a percolator coffee pot without the lid on. Only I can control the way I react to a situation - and I've let this situation get out of control. I've decided that I am not the reason she is the way she is - I am not at fault here. I believe that the answer to the question of who or what has caused her to be this way will only come after intense therapy. I pray to God for her and her family that she gets it...
Thank you all again for helping me through this quagmire - I can see it all much more clearly now...
Thank you all again for helping me through this quagmire - I can see it all much more clearly now...
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| After a long day! |
We've been preparing for our Diaconate weekend which is coming in a few short days. I never realized there was so much work in the "Ordination Reserves" - mercy!! We are meeting another Diaconate couple on Friday afternoon for lunch and to compare notes.. I am just thankful we can stay at the condo at the Peak during these weekends. The other couples (those who live far away) stay at the "Holy Day Inn" - which is the dorms from the old Seminary - one bathroom on each floor.. Anyway, we were supposed to get together and golf, but it seems that the weather isn't going to cooperate.. It's that time of year - golf gets iffy - and so does my golf swing!
Until next time!
1 * Your Comments Make My Day Brighter!:
I am so glad you are seeing clearly. I had no doubt you'd figure it out! Oh dear last night was. I think I will blog about it later. Kathryn is doing really good and the baby is even better. He is Adorable with a capital "a". So good and so happy. She is starting to feel the impending doom of going back to work. I know she wants to be a stay at home mama but it just isn't in the cards. Her mom will take care of him which is very good. More later!
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