Shtr's Full!

Yes, when it rains....  We've not got the furnace fixed - yet..  May be a little while.  Over the weekend we discovered a problem in the bathroom off the mud-room.  "A problem" - that simple expression just doesn't seem to describe the utter destruction that we awoke to on that miserable, cold, morning - remember, no furnace on that side of the house..  Our commode was "gurgling" - and uhm... "burping" gross and obnoxious matter - hmmm..  a septic problem??  Again, "problem" isn't a strong enough word here..  So, bright and early today the septic man comes to do his thing...  Think Cousin Eddy in Christmas Vacation standing at the sewer pumping his Rrr-Vee out in the storm drain...  "Shitter's full..."  Cousin Eddy was at our house today - chaw and all.  Replace the robe with bib overalls and you have our septic guy....

Anyway, $210 later - and the proud, new recipient of a very empty and sparkly clean septic tank, I begin to clean the horrifying mess that is now our mud-room and bathroom.  I clean the commode, flush, and Oh my heavens....  now the water is pouring out from under the commode and the burping and gurgling inside the nasty beast continues...  Time to call the plumber..  To make a long and horrific story short, I need to replace all - yes you read that correctly - ALL the plumbing that leads to the septic tank.  They need to bust through the cement floor and replace the corroded, terra cotta plumbing that has literally crumbled and is collapsing into itself - oh yeah, and Thanksgiving is now three days away...  It seems that archaeologists in Egypt are finding artifacts in ancient pyramids that are more modern than the plumbing in my home..  Does it get any easier???  And WHEN????  I am so over all the (continuing) family drama, furnaces, plumbing, car maintenance, doctors - all of it.  Honestly, if I didn't keep my sense of humor through this entire fiasco - and a fiasco is what it is turning out to be - I would be wrapped in a padded cell and talking to the little people who are floating all around me!

Think of the scene in Christmas Vacation when the Dad tells Clark how he survived family events - "With a little help from Jack" - yes, that is the level of chaos that is Lisa Land these days...

...I am surviving with a little help from Tangueray and a Costco size bottle of olives.


Here's a cheers to YOU!
Until Next Time....